I have got a girlfriend from college but I have recently met a really fit girl through a friend of mine. I've heard that she fancies me. I don’t know what to do, help me!
From Smoothie
Thursday 17 July 2008
Wednesday 16 July 2008
Film Review: Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?
By Louis Longley
It is easy to like Morgan Spurlock’s latest film, “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?”, it is very aesthetically appealing and charmingly funny. However it also boasts brows lower than a Neanderthal.
In his latest film we discover Spurlock’s wife is pregnant and in a quest to make the world safer for his child Spurlock goes on a hunt for the most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Laden. What follows takes Spurlock on a tour of the Middle East from Saudi-Arabia to Israel, all on the pretence of a relentless hunt for one man. Around 90 minutes of Docudrama later Spurlock reaches his conclusion and manages to arrive home to the USA in time for a closing shot of his wife’s pregnancy.
As I have already said Spurlock’s film has the charm and character of a loveable rogue, which you hate to love, Spurlock’s Borat-esque play on the clichés of several genres, from action to rom-com, this makes the documentary flow and very entertaining to watch. As well as deliberate plays on genre, however, Spurlock seemingly accidentally plays with the genre he based his movie on, Documentary, warping it out of all visible recognition, with his video game style transitions his overly staged camera shots, his additions of sound affects/make up, and his annoyingly over-rehearsed phone conversations with his girlfriend, (think “Shaun of the Dead” on LSD).
Furthermore the pretence for his tour round the Middle East makes the conflict in “Alien vs. Predator” look like the lead up to the first world war. It is an amazingly ludicrous pretence that truly insults the intelligence of the viewer. Although this pretence or ‘hook’ is a deliberate satire on the mainstream American action hero (one man against impossible odds, think Josie Wales in the ‘Outlaw Josie Wales’) and while I do think that the presence of satire is important in documentary, if it is the film’s main feature it (the film) is in danger of being ruined buy its own plot.
In conclusion, while I think that ‘Where in the world is Osama bin Laden’ is an entertaining way of spending around an hour and a half of your life, it does not particularly bear close examination or provoke serious thought. My personal view is that Spurlock should use his quirky style to comment on narrower areas of discussion rather than epic issues.
It is easy to like Morgan Spurlock’s latest film, “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?”, it is very aesthetically appealing and charmingly funny. However it also boasts brows lower than a Neanderthal.
In his latest film we discover Spurlock’s wife is pregnant and in a quest to make the world safer for his child Spurlock goes on a hunt for the most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Laden. What follows takes Spurlock on a tour of the Middle East from Saudi-Arabia to Israel, all on the pretence of a relentless hunt for one man. Around 90 minutes of Docudrama later Spurlock reaches his conclusion and manages to arrive home to the USA in time for a closing shot of his wife’s pregnancy.
As I have already said Spurlock’s film has the charm and character of a loveable rogue, which you hate to love, Spurlock’s Borat-esque play on the clichés of several genres, from action to rom-com, this makes the documentary flow and very entertaining to watch. As well as deliberate plays on genre, however, Spurlock seemingly accidentally plays with the genre he based his movie on, Documentary, warping it out of all visible recognition, with his video game style transitions his overly staged camera shots, his additions of sound affects/make up, and his annoyingly over-rehearsed phone conversations with his girlfriend, (think “Shaun of the Dead” on LSD).
Furthermore the pretence for his tour round the Middle East makes the conflict in “Alien vs. Predator” look like the lead up to the first world war. It is an amazingly ludicrous pretence that truly insults the intelligence of the viewer. Although this pretence or ‘hook’ is a deliberate satire on the mainstream American action hero (one man against impossible odds, think Josie Wales in the ‘Outlaw Josie Wales’) and while I do think that the presence of satire is important in documentary, if it is the film’s main feature it (the film) is in danger of being ruined buy its own plot.
In conclusion, while I think that ‘Where in the world is Osama bin Laden’ is an entertaining way of spending around an hour and a half of your life, it does not particularly bear close examination or provoke serious thought. My personal view is that Spurlock should use his quirky style to comment on narrower areas of discussion rather than epic issues.
Monday 14 July 2008
Work by David Adedipe
It is a dark night and it is cold. I don’t know where I am going. I don’t know how I am going to get home. I don’t even know how I go there. the only thing I am following is the light that leads to a metal wire fence. I am stuck – I don’t know whether to jump the fence of just to crawl into a ball and cry.
Work by Charlie Clinton
Back in the mysterious and haunting 1960s there was an old worn out town called Beckingstoke. This tattered area held a myth about a haunted house on the corner, just off of Riley Road. According to locals, whoever entered never returned, or if they did return they would be possessed with a second personality, of the creature which had overpowered them.
Then it came to the year 1969, just before the end of the decade, and one man was sure to end the myth of the 60s. His name was Henry Mackenroe. He lived in the village and always boasted about how he wasn’t phased by the house and would enter it at least once before he became old and wrinkly.
Just by the look of the house, people could tell this wasn’t a very good idea. People had already started arranging his funeral and ordering flowers to mourn him with, but Henry was sure they were soon to find out the answer to their questions. As he stepped up to the front door, climbing up the rusted, moulded steps, he paused and looked around behind him to get a last glimpse of outside life.
He hesitantly pushed open the door which produced a loud creek, before swinging forth and smashing into the unpainted and bloodstained wall. By now Henry had a tingling feeling in his belly which was telling him something was about to go terribly wrong. As he bravely moved forward down the corridor, he heard a quiet voice coming from his right. He turned his head slowly to the right to discover a slightly opened door. He stuttered forwarded and pushed the cold door knob and there it was, the misty figure as white as snow. It made the room cold and icy. As he stood there staring into his eyes which seemed ocean deep, the myth became real, the blood shed began, the locals were right, how would the myth ever end?
Then it came to the year 1969, just before the end of the decade, and one man was sure to end the myth of the 60s. His name was Henry Mackenroe. He lived in the village and always boasted about how he wasn’t phased by the house and would enter it at least once before he became old and wrinkly.
Just by the look of the house, people could tell this wasn’t a very good idea. People had already started arranging his funeral and ordering flowers to mourn him with, but Henry was sure they were soon to find out the answer to their questions. As he stepped up to the front door, climbing up the rusted, moulded steps, he paused and looked around behind him to get a last glimpse of outside life.
He hesitantly pushed open the door which produced a loud creek, before swinging forth and smashing into the unpainted and bloodstained wall. By now Henry had a tingling feeling in his belly which was telling him something was about to go terribly wrong. As he bravely moved forward down the corridor, he heard a quiet voice coming from his right. He turned his head slowly to the right to discover a slightly opened door. He stuttered forwarded and pushed the cold door knob and there it was, the misty figure as white as snow. It made the room cold and icy. As he stood there staring into his eyes which seemed ocean deep, the myth became real, the blood shed began, the locals were right, how would the myth ever end?
Work by Sam Digby-Baker
I am there in the middle of a corn field. I can smell fresh corn, I can feel it brushing up against my legs. I like the look of the bright yellow corn.
Work by Tolulope Adedayo
Walking down the stairs, the smell of urine shot through my nose. The click click of my heels hitting the hard concrete as I tried not to fall. The three year old paint peeling off the wall, trying to cover up the graffiti underneath. Just like covering up the truth. I accidentally touch the wall, then clean my hand in disgust. I reach the bottom of the stairs and stare at the fountain, decayed and stained. Just like a smoker’s teeth full of dirt and impurities, too late to clean.
Work by Sean Johansen
As I walked up the rocky path towards what I’m told is a large castle, I wondered what the point was in dehydrating myself to see something which you could see in nearly every country in the world. The sun was beating down on my face with great penetration making me feel like I could just jump into that nearby river will all my clothes on, without a care in the world. The hill was gradually getting steeper and I could only hope this meant I was getting closer, and that this suicide walk would soon be over. I could feel my legs sinking into the hot dry ground. I had been walking for almost three hours in the sweltering heat, now I just had to sit down. After sitting down for a couple of minutes I had seen what I was looking for.
Work by Carlton Lieu
I
I was stuck in the corn field and the only thing I could see was more corn. It went on for miles and miles and the only thing I felt was prickly stems and leaves brushing my legs. As I walked further I could hear different animals and insects. Firstly there was the chirruping of the crickets and as I progressed, the rustling of the corn where rodents ran though it.
The clouds filled the sky like an ocean that never ended and I felt like just giving up. the finish line was not in sight. I was tired and hungry but I wasn’t desperate enough to eat a rat or the raw corn.
II
It had been a bad month for me. I was demoted from my job and I didn’t have a penny to spare. News came to me that my granddad had passed away. I ran though a whole box of tissues and even though my tears were now dry, I still missed him. I remembered as a kid I would chill with him, even spend the whole summer with him. I still couldn’t believe it. He was like my dad. My dad used to go to work and I had to chill with gramps.
I lay on my bed thinking about him. I took time off work to visit his house, knowing I was likely to get fired, but that was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I arrived at his castle and made sure that I spent time with the thing he spent his last days with. As I sat in his ‘throne’ the chair I was not allowed to sit on as a kid because he said I wasn’t big enough, I felt his spirit in the air. A cold breeze brushed my legs bit I wasn’t scared I was happy to feel his presence. The world had come back to colour and I felt better.
I was stuck in the corn field and the only thing I could see was more corn. It went on for miles and miles and the only thing I felt was prickly stems and leaves brushing my legs. As I walked further I could hear different animals and insects. Firstly there was the chirruping of the crickets and as I progressed, the rustling of the corn where rodents ran though it.
The clouds filled the sky like an ocean that never ended and I felt like just giving up. the finish line was not in sight. I was tired and hungry but I wasn’t desperate enough to eat a rat or the raw corn.
II
It had been a bad month for me. I was demoted from my job and I didn’t have a penny to spare. News came to me that my granddad had passed away. I ran though a whole box of tissues and even though my tears were now dry, I still missed him. I remembered as a kid I would chill with him, even spend the whole summer with him. I still couldn’t believe it. He was like my dad. My dad used to go to work and I had to chill with gramps.
I lay on my bed thinking about him. I took time off work to visit his house, knowing I was likely to get fired, but that was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I arrived at his castle and made sure that I spent time with the thing he spent his last days with. As I sat in his ‘throne’ the chair I was not allowed to sit on as a kid because he said I wasn’t big enough, I felt his spirit in the air. A cold breeze brushed my legs bit I wasn’t scared I was happy to feel his presence. The world had come back to colour and I felt better.
Thursday 3 July 2008
Secret
By Maxine Lartey
Monique changed back into her pyjamas. She was glad that her dark complexion meant that no one could see her face burning with embarrassment.
She found her mum making breakfast into the kitchen
“Mum, can I talk to you?”
“Always, love,” she answered, smiling.
“Well, I’ve been sick.”
“Oh dear,” said Monique’s mother turning to look at her.
“And then…well, let’s just say my bladder had a mind of its own…”
“Oh, you poor thing!” said Monique’s mum, putting a hand on Monique’s forehead.
“Mum! I’m not a baby,” she replied defiantly.
“You probably have a bug. You can miss school today.”
“Thanks mum.”
Monique turned and started to walk away.
“Darling, if you ever get pregnant, you would tell me wouldn’t you, Monique?”
“Of course, mum” Said Monique, shocked.
“When I had Kamal your grandfather wouldn’t talk to me for months. I just don’t want you making the same mistakes I did.”
Monique trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. Her mum’s words kept playing over and over again in her mind. Could she be pregnant?
At Lauren’s party, a few weeks ago there’d been lots of people and fun and beer. She felt a little reckless and knew her mum would not approve but she wouldn’t get in to any trouble. And then later on Ben, Kate’s boyfriend had showed up. They talked and danced and drank. They’d kissed, something Monique wasn’t proud of, but it had been nice to feel wanted, and as long Ben didn’t say anything, what was the harm?
But then Ben had led Monique to Lauren’s bedroom, and past that the night was a blank.
Monique put her coat on over her pyjamas and snuck out the back door, so that her mum didn’t see her. At the chemist she bought a pregnancy test. It is really hard to buy a pregnancy test because she did not want anyone to know she might be pregnant and then tell her mum. It was ten pounds which seemed stupid because you can only use it once. The look the chemist gave her almost turned her to stone.
Back home she locked herself in the loo and read the instructions carefully. Taking the test was no problem; it was waiting for it to be ready to read that was difficult. After ten minutes Monique finally made herself look. Two blue lines. The instructions on the packet told her she was pregnant.
“No. I can’t be. It’s not true,” she whispered to herself. It’s okay, she thought. I’ll do another test, and this one has to be wrong. But turning out her pockets she didn’t have even half the money to buy a new one.
The next day at school was very hard. The events of the previous day were still fresh in her mind. She didn’t know what to do. All day the only thing on her mind was whether or not she should keep it. What will Kate think of me? She wondered, what will my mum do? I’ve gone and made the same mistake she did.
Kate could tell that something was on her mind.
“What’s up? You’ve been down all day.”
“It’s nothing much, don’t worry,” replied Monique.
“Come on babe, we tell each other everything. You look like you’ve eaten cold porridge,” moaned Kate.
“Look,” Monique didn’t mean to snap, “it’s just I’ve got stuff on my mind, that’s all.”
“Well, we all have stuff on our mind. Ben’s been acting all funny, but I suppose that doesn’t matter because Monique has problems so big that no one else matters.” Kate snapped back.
The hurt and coldness in Kate’s voice made Monique burst in to tears.
“”Hey babe, I’m sorry. I have all this negative energy I need to get out, that’s all,” she said giving Monique a hug.
“It’s not that, It’s just…Oh, Kate I’m so sorry,” sobbed Monique
“What about? You haven’t done anything,” said Kate
“I have…Oh Kate. You remember Lauren’s party?”
“Yeah.”
“Ben and I sort of kissed…but it was a mistake, I mean we were so drunk.”
“You did what?” Kate yelled, so that people stopped and looked at them both. “Wait, with my boyfriend?”
Her face looked like she had been slapped a thousand times and now she wanted revenge.
“It was an accident, I’m so sorry. I just had to tell you, because…”
“Because what?” Shouted Kate.
“Because I’m pregnant,” she sobbed. She hadn’t meant to tell her that bit but it came out like word vomit.
The bell for afternoon lessons rang.
Kate walked away, without looking at her and Monique had never felt so alone.
That evening, she went home and worried about how she would tell her mum. She didn’t have to worry for long as soon Kate was at her door.
“Hey Kate come in. Monique is upstairs”
“Actually I wanted to talk to you”
“Really well come in and grab a seat. So what’s on your mind kiddo?”
Monique’s heart was thumping in her chest like an animal trying to get out of a cage as she sat on the stairs listening to their conversation .
“If my boyfriend cheated on me and took advantage of my friend should I dump him or give him another chance ?”
“That’s a hard decision to make. Do you like him enough to give him another chance. Can you trust him? Is your friendship worth it?”
“I do like him but my friendship is not worth it. I don’t think I can trust him. Thanks for the advice”
“No probs kiddo.”
Monique was stunned Kate had not told her mum she was happy but still surprised.
Kate climbed the stairs and saw Monique.
“I am not going to tell your mum,” she whispered. “I’ll let you do that I realised our friendship is more important then a stupid boy who takes advantage of you, and I will stick by you and the baby.”
“Thanks and I promise never to do anything with your boyfriends no matter how drunk I am.”
“You better not or I will slap you!” and suddenly they both laughed.
“Would you come down with me while I tell my mum I’m pregnant?”
“What are friends for?”
Kate and Monique hugged and held hands as they descended down the stairs to tell her mum.
Monique changed back into her pyjamas. She was glad that her dark complexion meant that no one could see her face burning with embarrassment.
She found her mum making breakfast into the kitchen
“Mum, can I talk to you?”
“Always, love,” she answered, smiling.
“Well, I’ve been sick.”
“Oh dear,” said Monique’s mother turning to look at her.
“And then…well, let’s just say my bladder had a mind of its own…”
“Oh, you poor thing!” said Monique’s mum, putting a hand on Monique’s forehead.
“Mum! I’m not a baby,” she replied defiantly.
“You probably have a bug. You can miss school today.”
“Thanks mum.”
Monique turned and started to walk away.
“Darling, if you ever get pregnant, you would tell me wouldn’t you, Monique?”
“Of course, mum” Said Monique, shocked.
“When I had Kamal your grandfather wouldn’t talk to me for months. I just don’t want you making the same mistakes I did.”
Monique trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. Her mum’s words kept playing over and over again in her mind. Could she be pregnant?
At Lauren’s party, a few weeks ago there’d been lots of people and fun and beer. She felt a little reckless and knew her mum would not approve but she wouldn’t get in to any trouble. And then later on Ben, Kate’s boyfriend had showed up. They talked and danced and drank. They’d kissed, something Monique wasn’t proud of, but it had been nice to feel wanted, and as long Ben didn’t say anything, what was the harm?
But then Ben had led Monique to Lauren’s bedroom, and past that the night was a blank.
Monique put her coat on over her pyjamas and snuck out the back door, so that her mum didn’t see her. At the chemist she bought a pregnancy test. It is really hard to buy a pregnancy test because she did not want anyone to know she might be pregnant and then tell her mum. It was ten pounds which seemed stupid because you can only use it once. The look the chemist gave her almost turned her to stone.
Back home she locked herself in the loo and read the instructions carefully. Taking the test was no problem; it was waiting for it to be ready to read that was difficult. After ten minutes Monique finally made herself look. Two blue lines. The instructions on the packet told her she was pregnant.
“No. I can’t be. It’s not true,” she whispered to herself. It’s okay, she thought. I’ll do another test, and this one has to be wrong. But turning out her pockets she didn’t have even half the money to buy a new one.
The next day at school was very hard. The events of the previous day were still fresh in her mind. She didn’t know what to do. All day the only thing on her mind was whether or not she should keep it. What will Kate think of me? She wondered, what will my mum do? I’ve gone and made the same mistake she did.
Kate could tell that something was on her mind.
“What’s up? You’ve been down all day.”
“It’s nothing much, don’t worry,” replied Monique.
“Come on babe, we tell each other everything. You look like you’ve eaten cold porridge,” moaned Kate.
“Look,” Monique didn’t mean to snap, “it’s just I’ve got stuff on my mind, that’s all.”
“Well, we all have stuff on our mind. Ben’s been acting all funny, but I suppose that doesn’t matter because Monique has problems so big that no one else matters.” Kate snapped back.
The hurt and coldness in Kate’s voice made Monique burst in to tears.
“”Hey babe, I’m sorry. I have all this negative energy I need to get out, that’s all,” she said giving Monique a hug.
“It’s not that, It’s just…Oh, Kate I’m so sorry,” sobbed Monique
“What about? You haven’t done anything,” said Kate
“I have…Oh Kate. You remember Lauren’s party?”
“Yeah.”
“Ben and I sort of kissed…but it was a mistake, I mean we were so drunk.”
“You did what?” Kate yelled, so that people stopped and looked at them both. “Wait, with my boyfriend?”
Her face looked like she had been slapped a thousand times and now she wanted revenge.
“It was an accident, I’m so sorry. I just had to tell you, because…”
“Because what?” Shouted Kate.
“Because I’m pregnant,” she sobbed. She hadn’t meant to tell her that bit but it came out like word vomit.
The bell for afternoon lessons rang.
Kate walked away, without looking at her and Monique had never felt so alone.
That evening, she went home and worried about how she would tell her mum. She didn’t have to worry for long as soon Kate was at her door.
“Hey Kate come in. Monique is upstairs”
“Actually I wanted to talk to you”
“Really well come in and grab a seat. So what’s on your mind kiddo?”
Monique’s heart was thumping in her chest like an animal trying to get out of a cage as she sat on the stairs listening to their conversation .
“If my boyfriend cheated on me and took advantage of my friend should I dump him or give him another chance ?”
“That’s a hard decision to make. Do you like him enough to give him another chance. Can you trust him? Is your friendship worth it?”
“I do like him but my friendship is not worth it. I don’t think I can trust him. Thanks for the advice”
“No probs kiddo.”
Monique was stunned Kate had not told her mum she was happy but still surprised.
Kate climbed the stairs and saw Monique.
“I am not going to tell your mum,” she whispered. “I’ll let you do that I realised our friendship is more important then a stupid boy who takes advantage of you, and I will stick by you and the baby.”
“Thanks and I promise never to do anything with your boyfriends no matter how drunk I am.”
“You better not or I will slap you!” and suddenly they both laughed.
“Would you come down with me while I tell my mum I’m pregnant?”
“What are friends for?”
Kate and Monique hugged and held hands as they descended down the stairs to tell her mum.
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Gifted and Talented French Club
Joseph Ewing, Kit Wolverson, Maxine Lartey, Lindsay Pain, Anastasia Saunders and Elizabeth Oloyede. Headed up by Jean Pascal, the French club of 6 this year was a great success and, over a stretch of five varying projects, a proud follow-up to last years group.
French club is aimed at giving us the chance to improve and enjoy our skills with the French language. And we have. The year started with our first project of French Comics and although we had just three people at the time, we had a great time creating our own comics and acting them out in front of the other language groups. For the second project we gained another member and our French Christmas was a big success. The next module of French Stereotypes was slightly more subdued but our next hit was most probably the best we’ve had. We did Tecktonik. In short this is a brand of clothes in France that was turned, by the youth, into a new and innovative dance which is all the rage! We just couldn’t resist and had both of the other language clubs and the language teachers up and dancing with us ☺ Finally, we ended the year with our last project of French Who Wants To Be A Millionaire which was, again, great fun.
Looking back together, we’ve had some real good fun and the only thing left to say is MERCI JEAN PASCAL!!! ☺
Au Revoir!
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